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There is no correct answer here.  I do not believe any parent should feel pressure to change anything until they are ready, and informed, and comfortable.  This is as personal and intimate as your choice to breastfeed or become vegan.  You should weigh what your goals are and why, and if this should be corrected from your point of view, no one else’s.  If you hold your little one for hours while they cry, and you say to yourself “I can’t do this anymore/something has to change” and you truly feel that way even at 2pm, then it is something I can help with, but I encourage all parents to discuss their ideal sleep situation, and find out if the goals and commitment match the desire.

Welcome to the 4 month regression, and yes, it could be just about any of the above making it a lot more difficult to know.  A few things to consider- 4 month sleep regressions are due in part to the maturing sleep cycles.  Those dozing smiles and little whimper laughs while sleeping are coming to an end as the sleep cycles change and lengthen. Many other things happen around 4 months, like rolling, reaching, babbling, floor dancing (kicking legs happily and rhythmically) and for a small few, teething.  Colic or prolonged crying with no known cause should be past its 8 week peak, and the most significant growth spurts have slowed down tremendously, mainly due to the digestive tract getting itself organized.  As a result, after about 12 weeks or 12 lbs, your baby should be able to go longer stretches between feeds and spit up less. (Hurray, no more needing to wake them to feed, but if they’re used to waking every few hours, it could be habit.  Considering that sleep changes permanently around this time, it’s typically the real reason that they begin waking more frequently. The regression is really more because desperate-for-sleep parents resort to things that have ‘worked’ in the past, like feeding, rocking, driving around, and then your brilliant child learns that this is the way of falling asleep.  And all you want to do is NOT do that to get them to fall asleep. Now what…? Teeth? Probably not yet.

So many things we are seeing advertised on the internet promising to transform your baby’s sleep are not considered safe by ANY of the guidelines and authorities on safe sleep.  In particular, there are reflux positioners, weighted sleep sacks and even heated companions that are on every possible form of media that are deemed unsafe for baby sleep.  There are great resources available to help ease your mind, and weed through the….weeds.  I personally rely on AAP, NIH, CPSC to remain up to date and to give me actual reasons to avoid or encourage use. So the short answer is, product safety is priceless, having the most current information on safe sleep is peace of mind, and learning sustainable sleep solutions that you can use as your child grows, is invaluable .

You want the truth? Babies cry.  All of them. It’s their only form of communication, and they have something to say.  Every few hours, it’s likely they’re hungry.  If they cry 30 minutes after eating and were happy after the meal, then that is probably not it.  Gas?  Possibly? Too warm or cold? Maybe.  TV is on and lots of chaos around is over-stimulating?  Sounds reasonable. Wet/dirty diaper? Worth a sniff.  Tired? Entirely probable if they have been awake too long.  Now which ones can you remedy easily?  TV is off, clean diaper, burped, and now in a warmer/cooler outfit.  What now?  Sleep them.  You know your baby will not soothe if hungry until their need is met.  Same with the diaper, or gas.  And same with sleep.  Whether you hold them, or rock and shush, drive around the block is up to you, but the real truth is that tired babies cry until they sleep no matter what you do.  It’s short-lived if we sleep them when they need it the same way we feed and change them, by paying attention to the need and fulfilling it before they become so overtired that they’re unsettled.

Oh, absolutely! Your 4 month old and 4 year old will sleep differently, just as much as they will play and eat differently.  Whether you’re moving, welcoming a new baby, dropping naps or just need some tweaking, I can offer you tools to navigate the challenges you are about to face, or the ones that have you questioning ‘what do I do now?’